I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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