I'm sorry my penis didn't work
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
and she was petting her beer can
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
