I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
