I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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