Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
