I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
