i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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