Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
