I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
