Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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