Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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