I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
how drunk are you?
Several
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
