I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
