You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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