girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
