Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
