Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
