Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
