I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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