O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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