Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
