like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
just tell him i said nine months
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
