I wish I only lived at night.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
