who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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