How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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