I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
