This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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