I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
