i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm at about main and main street
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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