pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
