Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
