I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
