Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
She announced her abortion via fbk
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Randomize
