Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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