Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
