Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
