So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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