Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
