i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
