Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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