you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
