of course. lets lasso hookers.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
