no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
