The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
my nose is crying tears of wow.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
