***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
