Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
