Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
