Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
