tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
