omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
