i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
